There are many questions I cringe at when asked, but the one that takes the cake is....(drumroll)...."If you could do anything as a career, what would it be?" That question sends shivers up my spine and makes me generally uncomfortable. Yes I do realize that by telling the blog-world this many of my friends who read this will be anticipating the next time they see me so they can ask me the question.
But truthfully...I despise that question, because I can't answer it. I can't pin down a dream job. There are times when I am asked that question and am flooded with thoughts of jobs I would like to do but are so far fetched they are ridiculus...(Work for Cirque de Soliel or a Master Chef at a nice resturant). Then there are other times when I feel this overwhelming since of guilt if I am honest and tell people what I really want to do...because if I do then that will be proud and haughty of me....(yes I realize this is stinkin' thinkin'.....I am working on it) So I will refrain and just get all uncomfortable. It is like a curse of the mind. I can win for losing and can't lose for winning.
Just a clarifier....I am not upset nor frustrated at those who ask...I just wish I had an answer for them....perhaps it is my age old struggle of trying to be right instead of faithful rearing it's ugly head.
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"What do you want?" "Who are you?" Heh. J. Michael Straczynski used those for conflicting sides in BABYLON 5. His point being that you can't know one without the other, and you need both.
(Yeah, citing an atheist to a Christian is a bit weird, but Joe does have his perceptive moments.)
Anyway, I think God waits on us a lot to realize that we often do have the priviledge of doing what we want. Mainly because it usually grows out of the gifts He's given us, out of who He's made us to be.
You're beginning to sound like you're shuffling your feet, not wanting to pull out what you really want to do because you fear that it would be unworthy of God. Or fear of being a fool.
Here's a secret: God loves His fools.
Just try something. You might like it!
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