I was talking with a close friend last night and I decided to write a bestseller of how worrying helped me achieve happiness. Of course we were discussing how we both seem to have to learn the lesson of taking one day at time over and over again.
Right now my life is in limbo. Not the most limbo it has ever been but pretty close. I am amazed at how well the great deceiver had me believing that I was in control of my daily life for the past few years. Even though I read...no one is promised tomorrow or do not worry about tomorrow for today has enough concerns. I still think that I somehow do a much better job of controling my future than God does. I mean come on, my track record speaks so much in my favor right? ummm not really.
Perhaps the most prideful thing I have ever done was convince myself that pride is not a struggle for me. Someone ripped that falacy off like ducttape on a hairy arm yesterday. Yes it was painful and still smarts today but I can see more clearly.
The challenging thing is to find balance....how can I trust God with my future yet still search for jobs, careers, future spouse, etc. Do I just lean up against a wall and let God bring these things to me or does he want me to be proactive....
Life is complicated, Thank God for grace.
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2 comments:
proactive and desperatly God dependent....
No kidding.
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