I could drink hot chocolate any season. I don't know why but it is my favorite "hot" drink. Over the past year or so, I have gone to each coffee shop that is in the Auburn/Opelika area and tried their hot chocolate. I must say none compare to the hot chocolate I can get from a home. Whether the home is my best friends apartment, Rosy's kitchen in Illinois, or my own kitchen with my grandmother's hot chocolate reciepe. There is something about a steaming mug in your hands sitting on a couch that has been worn in, being in a room that is lived in. There is some so comforting about it.
I have prayed to God about a lot things and recently I have noticed that I tend to ignore him if he is answering in a way I don't like. Kinda out of sight, out of mind. If I don't acknowledge it then I don't have to follow it. Yeah, it doesn't last very long before you are miserable because you know what you should do but you don't do it.
With the departure of two of my closest friends, I have been extremely lonely. The remaining close friends in Auburn mean a lot to me but they can't fill the void and I don't really want them to, I don't think. So I prayed to God for peace and a sense of purpose for this loneliness. Do you know how he answers me? Get this. "Let's spend time just you and me." That is not the answer I wanted. I want to reach out to people. I want to help change peoples lives. But no God wants me to spend time with him. It is slightly frustrating because I know that is what I should do, but the process of spending time with just God, requires faith that he is here with me. Requires trust that being alone is part of the plan of God. It also requires confession and repentence of which I do not like the latter. The former is easy but to change completely take work.
So now I feel like I am at the batter's box. I can listen to the coach and follow his signs or swing at the first pitch that "looks" good and end up striking out.
Patience is not my strong suit but that is obviously what I am being asked to work on.
"God's way is the best way"
Wednesday, September 07, 2005
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1 comment:
It's much "safer" trying to reach out to others...it's not as personal. There is more at stake when you are the one being changed; when you are the project.
What are you holding on to, or don't want to lose the most?
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