Yes it has been awhile

My apoligies to those who have been waiting with great anticipation for my next blog. I have had a lot of ideas crop into my head about what to blog about.

Kicking a Wet Dandelion
We recently have had a lot of rain, one day I was walking to work and I felt somewhat childish and decided to kick the white puffy seed bloom of a dandelion. What is usually a somewhat fun sight of seeing the bloom burst into pieces and float away was a yucky mess on my shoe because of all the rain. Life is often like that. Getting bogged down with circumstances of life that we are impaired in doing the job we are called to do and we end up making a mess rather than flying free and unhindered.

Draining Self-help
I am currently reading 2 books that are in the genre of "self-help" Both are helping me, but both simply drain me. After spending 2 hours reading one of them I did not want to talk or do anything. But alas life goes on and you have to go out into the world. A close friend and mentor remarked at how quiet I am right now. I think it is because I am in conflict with myself. I know what I am working on is the right thing to do, but it does not remove the difficultness of it. Even Christian "self-help" books have a tendancy to emphasize "My work" instead of God's work. So I am in conflict trying to navigate the path I am on, praying that it is a path of God's blessings.

Purging
Saturday I went to my parents' home and begun a task that I thought would be dreadful...cleaning out my room. I am far from finished but a lot of the junk has been removed. I also found a lot of letters. Some are "love-notes" from my ACSC (campus Ministry) days, others were actual love notes from previous girlfriends. So I followed the path of many TV shows and had a Keep and throw away pile. I threw a lot of stuff away at home but then some stuff I put in the keep pile until I got to my house. I have been wanting to test out my fire place and decided that this was the night to do it. So old records and a few of those love notes went into the fire. I understand again, the concept of fire being a cleansing tool. Many of those papers represented hurt and frustration, some were plain happiness. Burning them did not erase any memory but it did help me categorize them and deal with them. There are still a few documents that I want to burn but did not because they are hard to let go of. What is interesting is that they represent some of the most painful stuff and yet I hold on to them for security. Granted...I know this is not the most healthiess thing to hold on to bad memories. I often joke with my friends about praying for God to remove this or that from my life immediately. As much as it sounds cool and enjoyable. I am not sure I would be the person I am if all the pain were just removed. Needless to say, my room is a lot more organized and I can hit the closet next. Who knows what lurks in those shadows.

The Irony of God

As some of you know having kept up with my blog that I am in rehearsals for the musical "Fiddler on the Roof." with the New Horizon Theatre in West Point, GA. Well it is has been somewhat a difficult process. Mainly because I am out of my comfort zone. Everyone knows everyone but me. Most of these people have friends and family members also in the play and it is more of a family community so being a single guy I just feel plain out of place at times.

So I have complained to God about it and to others. There was a small part of me wanting to quit. But since I was raised with finishing what I started. I have stuck it out. Well the past two weeks have shown improvement. I now feel like Sally Fields in that "They like me...the really like me" Here are a few examples....

Last week, I was talking with 2 teenage girls and one of the girls said to the other..."Let me show you what Sandy did to her husband." She then preceded to pull on my beard. I stood there...mouth open...and said.."You are a very brave girl" The then said..."Please don't hurt me"

Then just last night, a kid of one of the cast members sat right next to me. I introduced myself and he preceded to tell me his name, we made some small talk and then he pointed at a sore on his lip and said "Look at this". I asked, "What happened?" He replied "It's an ulcer." I replied, "Yeah, I get those too". He said "You have herpes." After asking him to repeat himself, he explained that ulcers and cold sore mean you have herpes.

So as you can see, God has answered my prayers for being liked and accepted by having my beard pulled on and being told I have herpes.

Joking aside, It has been a learning process because I can now identify with visitors at my church who feel like everyone knows everyone and feel out of place.

The Four Things Tag

I really think this tagging is a ploy to re-awaken dying blogs but ok, I will play along with my brother's request.

Four Jobs I've Had:
Computer/Copier Repair with Business System and Services
Ladies Shoes Salesperson/Jr. Department Manager with Gayfer's Department Store
Office Manager for Auburn Church of Christ
Seasonal Engraver with Heartstrings Entreprises


Four Movies I Could Watch Over and Over:
The Princess Bride
Dead Poet's Society
American President
Finding Nemo

Four Books I Could Read Over and Over:
Harry Potter by JK Rowling
Chronicles of Narnia by CS Lewis
Mitford Series by Jan Karon
I & II Samuel (I really like David's life...the good and bad)

Four Places I've Lived:
Opelika, Alabama
Montgomery, Alabama - 9 months
Auburn, Alabama
Wiston-Salem, North Carolina - 4 months

Four TV Shows I Watch:
Lost
Clean House
It Takes a Thief
CSI


Four Places I’ve Been on Vacation:
Washington DC
Orlando, Florida
Peoria Area, IL
Brevard Area, NC (Camping, waterfalls)

Four Websites I Visit Daily: (I really don't check pages daily, but here are some I look at quite frequently)
ESPN.COM (I do not like their new home page format)
www.jkrowling.com: She has a really cool website
www.msn.com for the news
www.biblegateway.com for the Bible


Four Favorite Foods:
Mexican Casserole (you know the one with velvetta, chili, rotel tomatoes, etc.)
4-layer Chocolate Dessert
Chicken Fingers (Zaxby's & TendaChick are my favorites)
Niffer's--99% of everything I have eaten there is my favorite.


Four Places I’d Like to Be Right Now:
In a room with my closest friends sitting around a fireplace with snow falling outside
Touring the Midwest (Montanta, Colorado are high on my list)
Ireland
playing a board game with my family and friends

I realize that by not passing on the tagging, I am breaking the chain and will probably suffer a horrible death or 30 years bad luck but I just haven't got time to worry about that right now.

Sick & thoughtful

It is almost 1:00 AM and I should be in bed. I have been fighting a cold and I am sure this is not helping the healing. I guess right now I am just in a thoughtful mood. A dear friend of mine is a teacher in IL. His school has had 7 students die in 6 months. I just finished reading the obit and related article. The last student to die was 17. In listing her acolades, she was listed as a Teen for Christ.

So right now, much like the beaver in Narnia, I understand right now that God is not safe. Please understand what I am saying. We are not promised tomorrow. We could be checking out at any moment. Why does it take death to remind us that life is a vapor.

For those out in blogland that are wondering...no....no squirrel capture. Though I am getting concerned. I saw two squirrels the other day. I am praying that they are bachelors or batchelorettes.

Someone recently said that they feel that bloggers are narcissitic. I don't know...perhaps she was correct. What is the motivation behind blogging? Can it be pinned down to a simple understanding?

My brother in his blog says Change is a coming. I think perhaps change is always there. Sometimes it is a really cool yet slow-moving automatic sidewalk ...and other times it is a train barrelling at you and you grab on and hold on for the ride. It is all in your perspective. Can you imagine being a Jew on the day of Pentecost when Peter preached. That was a train ride change to say the least. But yet it still had slow movements at time.

Well i have yawn enough so I guess I will go to sleep.